insiders (308)

"Fuck him, Tracy, he's a lying bastard, so he is..." ...."Wot d'you mean 'Chelle ? The fucker tell you porkies or summat, did he ?"....."You betcha sweet Aunt Fanny , he did. Right cunt, that he is !"...."Jeezus 'Chelle, he's got your knickers in a right old twist, ain't he ? WTF did he say, then ?"...."Bastard plies me with booze then starts his sweet talkin' bullshit, luvs me to bits and all that romantic crap, bores me effin' stupid with it so I just stuck me ipod in me earhole and..."...."You wot, 'Chelle ? Stuck your ipod straight into yer ear ? Ain't you hot any earphones ? that's what you're supposed to do you know, you silly mare !".....Oh shut your hole, Tracy, I KNOWS that you don't hera nuthin' from an i-effin' Pod without bloody earphones, you can be so effin blonde at times, you slag ! I was speakin' rhetorically, so I was...Course I used bloody earphones !" ...."So wot about the pork pies them, 'Chelle ? Was he tellin' fibs that he liked your oPod or what ? Didn;t try to pinch ir from you did he ? Thieving bastard that he is !"...."Nah, wouldn't matter anyways, Tracy, me iPod was fucked anyways...good job that it was though, cus otherwise I mught not have heard him gettin' less romantic and more effin' horny !"...."Oooooh...dirty devil that he is, 'Chelle...wot did he do ? tell you dirty things or summat ?"...."Too effin' right, he did, Tracy ! Proper dirty boy so he is ! Told me he was gonna give my twat a right seeing to when he got me back to his place"....."FFS , 'Chelle, me knickers is all wet , wot exactly did he say then ? Tell me tell me tell me, you norty cow !"...."Soon as I get you in the bedroom, he says....I'm goona give you a right good screwin' !"....."Then wot happened, Tracy ?"...."Well he gets me on me back, rips my knickers off and sticks 'em on his head and starts bellowin' like effing Tarzan. Damn near wet meself so I did, me twat was gushin' like Old effin' Faithful, so it was ! I was worked up for a right good screwin' just like he said - then the lying cunt stuck this spanner up me Nat King Cole ! Effin' screwin' indeed ! I was sooo pissed off at that, so I was Tracy !"....."Errrr....'Chelle.....just one weensy lil thing....I'm not so sure he was lyin' to ya, you know.."....."Course he was, Tracy ! the cunt told me was a bloody mechanic and he doesn't know the difference between a spanner an' a screwdriver. At least he might have got his tools in the right order, effin lying bastard of a twat of a son of a muthafukka !!"....."Calm yourself down, Tracy, honest, I think you got the wrong end of the stick, you dim witted cow..."....."Who you callin' dim, you slag ? Even I knows me spanners from me hammers and stuff, an' I'm an effin' girl, so I am !"....."Errrr...Tracy....know wot you was sayin' about your iPod bein' fucked ?"...."Uh huh, 'Chelle, thats wot I said, wot about it ? Wot's it got to with the cost of Donald Trump's hair-don't ??"......"Well, Tracy, It's not just yer iPod wot's fucked, apparently.....you might want to be gettin' yer fat ass down to Specsavers cus yer eyes must be fucked too !"...."Wot makes you say that, Tracy ?"....."Cus it's NOT an effin' spanner, 'Chelle....it's an effin' speculum, you daft cow !"....."Ooooh...err....you might have a point there, Tracy....I suppose i'd maybes should get me an appointment at that shop....whachamacallit, Tracy ? Speculumsavers, was it ? "..... "Fuckaduck, 'Chelle....you really ARE Fucked lol Naahhh Naaaaaaaahh Fnarrrrrr Snort !"